Life as I know it now. :)

So, I live in a n interesting situation. I’m 19 right now, about to be 20, and I live at home. Now, say what you will, but I don’t have any choice.

I have my back surgery replacing a disk in my back about 6 months ago. We were told by the doctor that by this time I was able to live a normal life again. I had spent two years with a cane, narcotics, and pain. After the surgery, I was able to walk without a cane. The pain was still there but the intensity before the surgery was always at an 8-9 out of 10. Now, it’s around a 2-3. It’s a lot more manageable than before. Even before the surgery, we had told the doctor of our plans to go on vacation and he said by then I would be fully back to normal and have nothing to worry about. We also explained we were doing the whole Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm thing. He said that we’d be good to go and by then I’d be fully healed.

So, I went on vacation. I rode all the roller coasters. I never got along to well with them before because I was afraid of them. During the course of my back issues, I realized that there’s nothing in life to be afraid of because of how God is ALWAYS going to be in control. So, I have a passion for the and still do as I write this.

I went to Knott’s Berry Farm the first day. By the end of that day, by back was a mess. I was in quite a bit of pain, almost to the point of where I was before the surgery. I ended up taking some pain medication from my time right after the surgery and hoped the next morning I would be better. The next day, we had plans to go to Disneyland. When I woke up, walking was even difficult. My back was sore, stiff, and throbbing all over the place. Now, I figured that it was going to be a while since I’d be back at Disneyland or have this opportunity so I went. We rented a wheelchair for me and for a little while, my brother pushed me around. That is, until I got the hang of rolling myself around. It was so much fun to go through some of the lines in a wheelchair and be moving around. I was hurting, but not having to walk and stand all day really helped the situation. Some of the rides even have you go through the exit, wait a few minutes, and then load you on. It was nice to have that option as well.

We got home about 6 days later. We had been on vacation for three weeks. Two in California and one on a cruise through the Mexican Riviera. After getting back, my pain has gone down a little bit but not by much. The pain medication I took for two years makes me sick the day I take it and the day after. Also, I found out that because of my limitations after surgery, I’m a liability for anyone who hires me. That means that I can’t get a job either.

So, I live at home, my family supports me, and I understand and accept the situation, but it’s difficult. The day before I left for vacation, I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. I can’t gain weight or have a hard time keeping it, insomnia, ect. I’ve been dealing with all of those things a good portion of my teen years as well. So, basically I’m a messed up case of screwed.

Here’s the good news. I am looking at ways of making money on my blog. It’s giving me time to research more on Theology as well as video editing software and other various skills that may potentially help me in the future. I won’t go as far as saying that it’s not giving me a LOT of free time. There’s a lot of attempting to sleep, not feeling good, and just living in a large family that I get to work with. There isn’t really anything I can do to contribute a lot to the family because of my physical limitations. I can’t lift much, especially with how my back is now, and my hours are just irregular a lot of days because of the insomnia and sickness.

One positive thing, I’ve been in this situation for years and been through more pain and hell in that sense than a lot of people I know. But I can say that not ONCE has depression, feeling sorry for myself, or anything negative EVER gotten me down. I may have these issues and they make my life hard, but they haven’t killed me yet so I must be doing something right. J

Thoughts on Obesity

I was at the Rec Center today and I noticed something. This woman wasn't fat, she was quite obese. In fact, lately, I've noticed quite a bit lately that what's considered "overweight" isn't the norm anymore. Obesity is an obvious issue that American society today seems to be plagued with and struggle with. I'm not going to blame it on McDonalds, Burger King, or any other fast food joint that exists. In all honesty, it isn't their fault.

But, what I have noticed is that people just kind of give up. There are people who will start to gain weight and they find ways to change their diet or their living habits and fix themselves. But, less and less do people actually do that. In fact, just look at the different groups that talk about obesity today. You see that people want to blame food manufacturing companies, fast food businesses, and even places that make organic food perhaps more expensive than the unhealthy crap. We’re so quick to point the finger at other people that we don’t want to blame ourselves.

Here’s the other sad part, when people do get to that place of realizing perhaps it is their fault that they are now living that way or are obese, they just ultimately give up. They don’t want to do anything much to change it. I’m not saying they may not try, but not often will they do the research, find out HOW to do it, and then follow through. Yes, it is a hard and painful process to go through, but you feel and live so much better than you did before you became that way.

Now, my opinion may not be seen as a big deal because of my weight. I’m 6’ 2” and weight between 138-140 LBS. Not by choice, just so you know. I was recently diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. Symptoms include weight loss or lack of gaining, insomnia, and a few other things. It’s frustrating because I’ve always been underweight to match my height. It’s actually worse now with my metabolism and appetite going down. But, I will say that I can still notice things.

My parents went on the REAL HCG diet and lost weight and look amazing. If you asked them how it was, they aren’t going to say it was fun or enjoyable at all. In fact, they’ll probably say something to the extent of it was a severe hardship. However, they will also tell you that it was one of the most rewarding things they’ve done. They have more energy, they look better, and they just generally feel better. Not many people seem to have that nowadays.

I’m not here to say how wrong people are for allowing themselves to gain too much weight or anything like that. However, it’s sad that people get into that kind of rut. The rut where they have to get out is REALLY difficult. I’m actually on the other side of the scale (No pun intended) where I have to find ways to gain and keep weight on my body. Otherwise, I can get extremely sick and actually have the same kind of possible health issues as the people who are overweight. It’s REALLY hard to do too.

If you’re reading this and you’re one of those people who’s dealing with either side of the situation, know this. Not only are you not the only one, but find a way to motivate yourself. Don’t focus on what you are now and how hard it’s going to be. You need to realize what you’re going to be at the end. What you’re going to be able to accomplish and what you’ll have come out of. You’ll have done something that not very many people can do. Realize that as you go through the pain and the hardship, you know it’s going to be a breakthrough that’s going to equal out the pain and suffering.